CUT AND PASTE SECTION

ANGER MANAGEMENT AT ITS VERY BEST

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and youjust need to take it out on someone, don't take it outon someone you know, take it out on someone you don'tknow.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phonecall I had forgotten to make. I found the number anddialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speakwith Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn'tbelieve that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.I had transposed the last two digits of her phonenumber.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled,"You're an a**h***!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' nextto it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or hada really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're ana**h***!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought mytherapeutic 'a**h***' calling would have to stop. So,I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smithfrom the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see ifyou're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's becauseyou're an a**h***!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull intoa parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me offand pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. Ihit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting forthe spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"sign in his car window ... so, I wrote down hisnumber.
A couple of days later, right after calling the firsta**h***, I had his number on speed dial), I thought Ihad better call the BMW a**h***, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?""Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellowhouse, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen,"he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm homeevery evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an a**h***."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial,too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**h*** tocall.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't asenjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with anidea. I called a**h*** #1.
"Hello."
"You're an a**h***!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
" a**h***, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellowhouse, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you hadbetter start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**h***."
Then I called a**h*** #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, a**h***," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your a**," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, a**h***, here's your chance. I'mcoming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police,saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and thatI was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war goingdown on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34thstreet.
There I saw two a**h*** beating the crap out of eachother in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter,and news crew.
NOW, I feel better
Anger management at it's very best.

posted by Mohit @ 11:13 AM